The kids have gone off this weekend to Queensland with their dad and (soon to be) stepmother for their wedding. I’m not sure how I feel about all that – other than that the whole thing does seem a bit silly in your mid forties.
However, I do hope the kids have a good time – some of their dad’s family will be there and family occasions catching up with cousins and grandparents are always fun. It’s a major step for everybody in the family breakup timeline – while I’m sure my kids have not been clinging to the hope that we will get back together, it is still a finality that they are forced to confront, in a way that the actual divorce wasn’t (as I certainly didn’t take my divorce decree home and wave it under their noses when it came through).
Bookworm for one is so fed up with people asking her if she’s ok about it all that her topic for public speaking this year will centre around whether divorce has to neccesarily have negative implications for children. I worry that any negative implications might only come out later on in life for them – perhaps in confusion about their own relationships or with their own children.
Meanwhile I’ve realised that the terrible grief I feel each time one of them goes off to live with their father for a while is probably the same grief they had to deal with when we first separated.
I would like to know if there’s a time somewhere in the future where all this worrying will be behind me….